The Tributes (Part One)

And so it came to pass that on the 20th day of the first month of the 14th year of the 21st century of the AD numerated years, Lark and Musings observed that a tenth blog novel was about to begin.
And thus spake the Musings: I'm liking the idea of an actual sequel for novel #10.... Your call of course.
And thus emoticoned the Musings: (smiley face)
And Lark pondered this spakement in his heart, and behold, he knew that it was good.
And the Lark said nothing, for behold, he was slack in his Facebook Messaging, but he didst observe the nine novels that they had composed.
And behold, they were humourous, and also were strange.
And thus laughed the Lark: Haha.
And the Lark pondered to himself which novel should be sequeled, for lo, it was his turn to begin the novel, and it was the tenth novel, and he wanted it to be good.
And each novel had its pros.
And each novel had its cons.
And the Lark liked the idea of sequelling many of them, but he didst wonder whether any one novel would be worthy of being sequelled for novel number ten.
And then he didst wonder whether some sort of spin off novel would be better.
And then he slept.
And when he didst awaken, and had eaten his breakfast, and been at work, and had come home and put his feet up, and played Plants Vs Zombies 2, and read some movie reviews, and generally procrastinated, and made himself a cup of tea, and sat at his computer, he pondered these things again.
And in his heart, he wondered if some sort of vague parody of a well-known movie and book series would be appropriate in solving the dilemma of which novel was worthy of the tenth.
For lo, they all were worthy in their own ways.

And thus is was decreed, that no one novel would be sequelled for the tenth, but that all would have some input.
And behold, two tribute characters were to be chosen from each novel, with one character from each novel to be chosen by Lark, and one character from each novel to be chosen by Musings.
And behold, these tributes would be dropped randomly into some, lets say, jungle location, but with, like, a maze or something, and puzzles to solve, and they wouldst all do battle, although not necessarily to the death, but rather, to the prize.
Although being a spin off of sorts rather than a direct sequel, lo, any characters killed, maimed, or otherwise humiliated in this novel wouldst surely still be ok in the 'real novel' continuities.
And behold, the prize would be mostly prestige, but also would have a cash value.
And the prize would be the right to call themselves the winner of the Spin-Off Games.

And a sequel would not necessarily follow, because all of these characters were already in a sort of sequel anyway.
But the door would still be open for either author to begin a sequel at any stage in the future.

And behold, Lark got first choice, as it was his turn to begin.

And from the novel Timothy and Yolanda, Lark chose: The Hillbilly (first appearing in Chapter 20)
And from the novel Garbageman, Lark chose: Wanchai the Banana (appearing in Chapter 12)
And from the novel Dellua Spacecat, Lark chose: Dungay the Tibetan Sherpa (appearing in Chapter 18)
And from the novel Erstwhile Rogers, Lark chose: Ned the Flea (first appearing in Chapter 10)
And from the novel 'Chick Flik', Lark chose: Taylor (first appearing in Chapter 15)
And from the novel Flashback, Lark chose: Trixie Hobbetts (first appearing in Chapter 1, but chronologically in Chapter 16)
And from the novel Roger of the Q Dimension, Lark chose: Randy Jackson (first appearing in Chapter 10)
And from the novel The Epic of Krulnor, Lark chose: Albert the Pelican (first appearing in Chapter 7)
And from the novel Omric the Oarsome, Lark chose: The Goblin (appearing in Chapter 6)

And then the Lark dropped his tributes in the jungle, and waited for Musings to do the same.

***

Thud!

Trixie Hobbetts landed face first on the ground.
“Ow!”

Slowly the butch power-mad Ana-Lucia-from-Lost type Private Investigator stood to her feet, and took in her surroundings.

She appeared to be in a jungle, but how she had arrived there was a mystery.
She rubbed her head with her hand, and winced at the pain of where she had struck the ground.

There was a rustling in the bushes.
Trixie reached for her firearm instinctively, and was horrified to notice it was missing.
Reacting quickly, she picked a medium-sized rock from the jungle floor, and held it in a threatening manner.

“Whos there?”
The rustling grew louder, and the bushes parted to reveal... a pelican!

“Hwamp!” Albert called, as he flopped about in front of Trixie.
Trixie, who had missed the Private Investigator course on Pelicanese, had no idea what this meant, and stared blankly at the bird.

Albert sighed, as best as a pelican could manage, and flopped around again, trying desperately to point with his wings in the direction he wanted Trixie to follow him.
Eventually he gave up, and decided to get some help.
“Hwamp!” he called again, much louder this time.
“Whats the matter, boy?” Trixie asked, “Fire at the old well? Tornado at the old barn? Earthquake at the old pizzeria?”
“You're way off, Trixie” came another voice.
Trixie raised her rock back into attack position as a well-groomed man in a business suit stepped from behind a tree.
“And who are you?” Trixie asked suspiciously.
“My name is Steven Evans, and I have been selected as the host of these Spin-Off Games, as 75% of test audiences rate me as both professional and relatable. If you would both please follow me to the Tribal Circle, its almost time to begin part one of the contestants briefing.”
Finishing his spiel, Steven Evans turned and walked back in the direction he had come from, with Albert flopping loyally along behind.
Trixie didn't know what to think, but her hunger for answers was greater than her mistrust of the situation, so eventually she followed, still clutching the rock.

Next Chapter