Of Topical Topics and Quest Particulars
Like many ships that have been wholly holed in the hold, the Kittens ship had soon vanished from sight, but not before allowing gallons of its main fuel to ooze into the surrounding sea, covering beaches and various sea-life with black fuel. Of course, in this instance, the ship in question was a sailing ship, so the various sea-cows, sea-horses, sea-kittens and sea-guinea pigs found themselves struggling through clinging black sails - a slightly less disastrous disaster than some, unless of course you were thinking in fashion terms, in which case the whole black sail ensemble was so last week dahling!
But our heroes were not to be distracted by such measly things as sails in the water - even though water-sales often have great bargains on heroic loincloths - and swam on until they reached land.
THUNK.
That was them reaching land.
Well, to be accurate, that was Krulnor reaching land, by swimming head-first into it. A Surprisingly Fit And Well-Trained Swimmer Of A Messenger had already reached land, and was sitting atop a rock (in those days before he went by the name ‘Dwayne Johnson’) waiting.
The Messenger politely waited a few moments more as Krulnor extracted himself from the sea, coughed up the 26 litres of water in his lungs, and removed the octopus from his face. Once this was accomplished the Messenger shimmied down the Dwayne-face and re-approached Krulnor.
“Well,” Krulnor said heroically (trying extra hard to seem heroic whilst standing in front of the rock, and not look like someone with far too much seaweed currently wrapped around him, and with a pelican sitting on his head), “Where to now, Messenger?”
The pelican coughed noisily, and spat out half a herring, which landed on Krulnor’s nose.
“Hmmm,” A Desperately Trying To Ignore The Half-Herring Messenger said, “Well, from here we must trek inland, cross the Gorge of Insanity, climb the Pass of No Passage, and slide down the Slide of Happy Fun Times, in order to reach the village of Nelksun, where the chief will tell you the next part of the quest.”
“Haha!” Krulnor laughed heroically, opening his mighty mouth slightly too wide, and allowing the pelican to spit the other half of the herring directly into it, “Cough, gag. Spit. Sounds like a mighty plan!”
He tried to fold his arms heroically and look nonchalant.
The rock rolled his eyes and walked off down the beach.
As soon as he was gone, Krulnor removed the seaweed and herring from their perches, and tried to shoo the pelican away (less successfully. It seemed to be quite attached to him (although not physically. The pelican was attached to Krulnor in the sense of liking him (although not romantically. The pelican was in a fairly successful monogamous relationship at the time, and didn’t really have an interest in the large human warrior type (although in this instance, he did have an interest (although as previously stated, not a romantic one (anyway, the point is, it decided to follow him for a while)))))).
“Do you think he saw the herring?” Krulnor said sheepishly.
“It was barely noticeable” A Polite and Careful Messenger assured.
And then the messenger led the way inland, and mighty Krulnor followed.
And the pelican coughed again, and flew after them.
Previous Chapter *** Next Chapter
But our heroes were not to be distracted by such measly things as sails in the water - even though water-sales often have great bargains on heroic loincloths - and swam on until they reached land.
THUNK.
That was them reaching land.
Well, to be accurate, that was Krulnor reaching land, by swimming head-first into it. A Surprisingly Fit And Well-Trained Swimmer Of A Messenger had already reached land, and was sitting atop a rock (in those days before he went by the name ‘Dwayne Johnson’) waiting.
The Messenger politely waited a few moments more as Krulnor extracted himself from the sea, coughed up the 26 litres of water in his lungs, and removed the octopus from his face. Once this was accomplished the Messenger shimmied down the Dwayne-face and re-approached Krulnor.
“Well,” Krulnor said heroically (trying extra hard to seem heroic whilst standing in front of the rock, and not look like someone with far too much seaweed currently wrapped around him, and with a pelican sitting on his head), “Where to now, Messenger?”
The pelican coughed noisily, and spat out half a herring, which landed on Krulnor’s nose.
“Hmmm,” A Desperately Trying To Ignore The Half-Herring Messenger said, “Well, from here we must trek inland, cross the Gorge of Insanity, climb the Pass of No Passage, and slide down the Slide of Happy Fun Times, in order to reach the village of Nelksun, where the chief will tell you the next part of the quest.”
“Haha!” Krulnor laughed heroically, opening his mighty mouth slightly too wide, and allowing the pelican to spit the other half of the herring directly into it, “Cough, gag. Spit. Sounds like a mighty plan!”
He tried to fold his arms heroically and look nonchalant.
The rock rolled his eyes and walked off down the beach.
As soon as he was gone, Krulnor removed the seaweed and herring from their perches, and tried to shoo the pelican away (less successfully. It seemed to be quite attached to him (although not physically. The pelican was attached to Krulnor in the sense of liking him (although not romantically. The pelican was in a fairly successful monogamous relationship at the time, and didn’t really have an interest in the large human warrior type (although in this instance, he did have an interest (although as previously stated, not a romantic one (anyway, the point is, it decided to follow him for a while)))))).
“Do you think he saw the herring?” Krulnor said sheepishly.
“It was barely noticeable” A Polite and Careful Messenger assured.
And then the messenger led the way inland, and mighty Krulnor followed.
And the pelican coughed again, and flew after them.
Previous Chapter *** Next Chapter
posted by Lark Victory | 10:19 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home