....Never Mind
With Billy - representing 100% of the 'civilian bystanders who might possibly get in the way' element - now 100% out of the way, Krulnor jutted his jaw out heroically and turned his steally gaze (not to be mistaken with steely gaze, this gaze is the one reserved for an individual looking to see what mementoes he might pilfer once he has dealt with 36 annoying hedgehogs) upon the Great Hall of Dleifekaw.
From just inside the doorway, 72 alarmed eyes peered out, quivering - no, wait, quivers are porcupines, aren't they? Uh, what are hedgehog ones called? - spikering with fear.
Krulnor cricked his neck, spat out his gum, squinted his eyes, and leapt into the air with a mighty yell and his arm outstretched, ready to fly heroically into action.
Strangely, all that resulted from this was that he fell face first on the ground.
At which point three apples slapstick-ed-ly landed on his head (in fact, this was a rare Slapplestick Apple Tree, which thrived on pratfalls and puns, and was heartily enjoying Krulnor's on-going presence in its life).
Getting back to his feet, Krulnor brushed the dust from his face and tried to figure out what had gone wrong.
He had leapt into the air, and fallen on his face.
He hadn't flown.
Maybe he needed a run up.
Backing up to the Slapplestick tree, he braced his leg against it and pushed off, running for 3 metres, leaping into the air, and flying for 1 metre, before face-planting again, and receiving another three apples to the head.
Standing to his feet again, he noticed that a few of the hedgehogs were beginning to poke their noses out of the doorway and sniff suspiciously in his direction, which irritated Krulnor somewhat. Stupid hedgehogs, poking their noses where they didn't belong.
But, this was less important than wondering why he could no longer fly.
Pondering like a pond, he wiped the dust from his armour, and noticed a strange inscription.
It read:
PERCY THE SENSIBLE'S FLYING ARMOUR PATENT PENDING.
And in smaller print below:
- do not use in temperatures above 3000 degrees celsius
- do not machine wash
- will not fly without control helmet
- any similarities to Marvel properties are purely coincidental
- stainless steel
"Dang," Krulnor muttered, "Really wish I hadn't explicitly thrown my helmet somewhere no-one, especially not me, would ever find it. It really wasn't that useless after all."
But, Krulnor had thrown the helmet somewhere no-one, especially not him, would ever find it, and this was made explicit in the previous chapter, and no amount of double-talk could now return it unto him.
And moments later, the hedgehogs realised this, and rushed him en masse.
And Krulnor heroically charged in the opposite direction, because its not a retreat as long as you heroically charge.
Previous Chapter *** Next Chapter
From just inside the doorway, 72 alarmed eyes peered out, quivering - no, wait, quivers are porcupines, aren't they? Uh, what are hedgehog ones called? - spikering with fear.
Krulnor cricked his neck, spat out his gum, squinted his eyes, and leapt into the air with a mighty yell and his arm outstretched, ready to fly heroically into action.
Strangely, all that resulted from this was that he fell face first on the ground.
At which point three apples slapstick-ed-ly landed on his head (in fact, this was a rare Slapplestick Apple Tree, which thrived on pratfalls and puns, and was heartily enjoying Krulnor's on-going presence in its life).
Getting back to his feet, Krulnor brushed the dust from his face and tried to figure out what had gone wrong.
He had leapt into the air, and fallen on his face.
He hadn't flown.
Maybe he needed a run up.
Backing up to the Slapplestick tree, he braced his leg against it and pushed off, running for 3 metres, leaping into the air, and flying for 1 metre, before face-planting again, and receiving another three apples to the head.
Standing to his feet again, he noticed that a few of the hedgehogs were beginning to poke their noses out of the doorway and sniff suspiciously in his direction, which irritated Krulnor somewhat. Stupid hedgehogs, poking their noses where they didn't belong.
But, this was less important than wondering why he could no longer fly.
Pondering like a pond, he wiped the dust from his armour, and noticed a strange inscription.
It read:
PERCY THE SENSIBLE'S FLYING ARMOUR PATENT PENDING.
And in smaller print below:
- do not use in temperatures above 3000 degrees celsius
- do not machine wash
- will not fly without control helmet
- any similarities to Marvel properties are purely coincidental
- stainless steel
"Dang," Krulnor muttered, "Really wish I hadn't explicitly thrown my helmet somewhere no-one, especially not me, would ever find it. It really wasn't that useless after all."
But, Krulnor had thrown the helmet somewhere no-one, especially not him, would ever find it, and this was made explicit in the previous chapter, and no amount of double-talk could now return it unto him.
And moments later, the hedgehogs realised this, and rushed him en masse.
And Krulnor heroically charged in the opposite direction, because its not a retreat as long as you heroically charge.
Previous Chapter *** Next Chapter
posted by Lark Victory | 1:55 AM
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