Epic Battle
As Gigantor advanced threateningly towards Krulnor like a threatening threat, Krulnor sighed a hefty sigh.
"Really?" he whined, "Another battle to the death? Hasn't there been enough killing for one blognovel? Can't we all just get along?"
Gigantor pondered this for a moment, by which stage Krulnor had dispatched 5 of the 17 other hedgehogs, sending them directly to hedgeheaven, hedgehell, or the hedgehog equivalent of purgatory for the Catholic-chogs amongst them.
Krulnor/Dead-Leonard 33 - Hedgehogs 17
"Oh ho! A distraction is it?" Gigantor bellowed like bull-snail in mating season, "Well, two can play at that game! Look, a flying camel!"
Surprisingly this worked, and Krulnor turned his head to find the flying camel.
I mean, deep down inside, Krulnor knew Gigantor was trying to distract him, but a flying camel was the last item on his I-Spy Bingo card, and he was really hoping to win that Dan Carter Collector's Card.
By the time Krulnor had carefully scanned the horizon in case the camel was behind a cloud and turned back with a mild look of disappointment, seven more hedgehogs had pounced on him (he hadn't actually noticed them until he turned back, as they were quite small, and more annoying than anything else, as their name suggested) and were doing their best to restrain him, as Gigantor took aim. Of course, this was taking far longer than it had when Gigantor had killed Leonard, because Leonard was at best a tertiary character and therefore easily expendable, whereas Krulnor, as the hero, needed to be given time to dodge, deflect, or otherwise avoid the arrow Gigantor was still fumbling with.
Having ascertained that Krulnor was indeed ready, Gigantor finally notched the arrow to the bow, and fired.
Surprisingly - or at least, surprisingly if you didn't already know that Krulnor, as the hero, was never really in danger - Krulnor easily avoided the arrow, by flexing slightly, twisting a little to the right, and managing to put all seven of the hedgehogs 'holding him' in harms way. They fell to the ground, somewhat resembling a shish kebab.
Krulnor/Leonard 40 - Hedgehogs 17
Only six hedgehogs remained, including Gigantor, and these approached him more warily, yet still threateningly.
Now that Krulnor was completely focussed, Gigantor was able to prepare the next arrow much faster, but Krulnor held up Georgina's shield and blocked this as well.
Gigantor cursed in a very PG way, and threw the bow aside, having failed to bring more than three arrows to the battle because he didn't like the way it make him look.
Then he charged.
Krulnor, caught up in battle lust, charged right back, grabbing Gigantor around the middle and instantly regretting having done so as the hedgehog spikes pierced his arms.
He tried to let go, but couldn't.
Gigantor, too, tried to back away from Krulnor, but with the barbarian stuck to him like a leaf on a pitchfork, could not do so.
In their violent tussle, the other five hedgehogs found themselves trampled under foot, and soon only Krulnor and Gigantor were left, in what looked to be an affectionate hug, but far more manly, and deadly, and don't you go suggesting otherwise, cos these two were completely straight, and not at all insecure about their sexuality.
Hours passed, and the two remained embracing, trying desperately to get apart but being unable to, until something unexpected happened.
Previous Chapter *** Next Chapter
"Really?" he whined, "Another battle to the death? Hasn't there been enough killing for one blognovel? Can't we all just get along?"
Gigantor pondered this for a moment, by which stage Krulnor had dispatched 5 of the 17 other hedgehogs, sending them directly to hedgeheaven, hedgehell, or the hedgehog equivalent of purgatory for the Catholic-chogs amongst them.
Krulnor/Dead-Leonard 33 - Hedgehogs 17
"Oh ho! A distraction is it?" Gigantor bellowed like bull-snail in mating season, "Well, two can play at that game! Look, a flying camel!"
Surprisingly this worked, and Krulnor turned his head to find the flying camel.
I mean, deep down inside, Krulnor knew Gigantor was trying to distract him, but a flying camel was the last item on his I-Spy Bingo card, and he was really hoping to win that Dan Carter Collector's Card.
By the time Krulnor had carefully scanned the horizon in case the camel was behind a cloud and turned back with a mild look of disappointment, seven more hedgehogs had pounced on him (he hadn't actually noticed them until he turned back, as they were quite small, and more annoying than anything else, as their name suggested) and were doing their best to restrain him, as Gigantor took aim. Of course, this was taking far longer than it had when Gigantor had killed Leonard, because Leonard was at best a tertiary character and therefore easily expendable, whereas Krulnor, as the hero, needed to be given time to dodge, deflect, or otherwise avoid the arrow Gigantor was still fumbling with.
Having ascertained that Krulnor was indeed ready, Gigantor finally notched the arrow to the bow, and fired.
Surprisingly - or at least, surprisingly if you didn't already know that Krulnor, as the hero, was never really in danger - Krulnor easily avoided the arrow, by flexing slightly, twisting a little to the right, and managing to put all seven of the hedgehogs 'holding him' in harms way. They fell to the ground, somewhat resembling a shish kebab.
Krulnor/Leonard 40 - Hedgehogs 17
Only six hedgehogs remained, including Gigantor, and these approached him more warily, yet still threateningly.
Now that Krulnor was completely focussed, Gigantor was able to prepare the next arrow much faster, but Krulnor held up Georgina's shield and blocked this as well.
Gigantor cursed in a very PG way, and threw the bow aside, having failed to bring more than three arrows to the battle because he didn't like the way it make him look.
Then he charged.
Krulnor, caught up in battle lust, charged right back, grabbing Gigantor around the middle and instantly regretting having done so as the hedgehog spikes pierced his arms.
He tried to let go, but couldn't.
Gigantor, too, tried to back away from Krulnor, but with the barbarian stuck to him like a leaf on a pitchfork, could not do so.
In their violent tussle, the other five hedgehogs found themselves trampled under foot, and soon only Krulnor and Gigantor were left, in what looked to be an affectionate hug, but far more manly, and deadly, and don't you go suggesting otherwise, cos these two were completely straight, and not at all insecure about their sexuality.
Hours passed, and the two remained embracing, trying desperately to get apart but being unable to, until something unexpected happened.
Previous Chapter *** Next Chapter
posted by Lark Victory | 1:51 AM
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