Of Apple Trees and Lollipops

Krulnor exited the restaurant like a last-minute essay: rushing out, with poor planning, no clear sense of direction, and a number of grammatical errors to boot.
However, with the armour of Percy the Sensible beginning to hint that perhaps Percy's nickname had been given ironically, Krulnor found he couldn't see more than two feet in front of his face, and both of those feet were attached to his pink-armour-encased legs. It was little surprise to anyone, then, when Krulnor ran straight across the open area between the buildings, tripped over a rock, flew twenty metres, and ended up in a pile underneath a handy apple tree (which in true slapstick fashion proceeded to drop three apples directly on to Krulnor's head).
"Gosh, I hope nobody saw that" Krulnor muttered to himself.
BUT SOMEBODY DID!
Once Krulnor had managed to untangle himself and stand to his feet (and tilt his head back just like this so he could see at least some of his surroundings) he beheld A SMALL CHILD NAMED BILLY LICKING A LOLLIPOP AND LOOKING AT HIM!!!
He was aghast! (Krulnor, not Billy)
How could he ever live this down? (Krulnor again)
What would his mother say? (...uh... this could be either of them I guess)
Why was that weirdo wearing pink armour? (Billy this time)
How would he escape this one? (Krulnor, when he noticed that Billy wasn't the only one watching him, and that he was surrounded by sixteen annoyed hedgehogs holding various kitchen utensils and approaching menacingly)
Would he receive a promotion for this? (Derek, the leader of this group of hedgehogs)
He stretched (always important) and prepared for battle (Krulnor).
This was gonna be fun (Billy, actually).

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