Erutnevda!

Unfortunately, due to the brevity of his survey Krulnor had not stopped to consider the relative size of each of the four buildings, of course other than the hall which he had in his colossal intelligence deemed to be "large". Well, if such intelligence had been extended to the present building, which was currently having its door kicked in by Krulnor's sturdily constructed and brand new with the price tag still on the sole Nelksunian boot, the aforementioned intelligence would have identified the aforementioned building as "small, possibly a toilet."
Well to nobody's surprise other than Krulnor's and Clive the Hedgehog's, it was in fact a toilet. One that Clive the Hedgehog was in the process of using. Number ones, if you must know.
"Aaagh!" Clive and Krulnor cried simultaneously, each of them being exposed to a shocking sight at exactly the same time. Krulnor reacted by drawing his sword and leering menacingly. Clive reacted by quickly closing the door and finishing his business.
A moment went by, in which Krulnor waited by the toilet for Clive to hurry up, in the classic pose of toilet-loiterers everywhere, striding back and forth with hands in pockets pretending to look casual, whistling something tuneless, possibly a Lady Gaga song.
And then good Clive did emerge from the depths of the Water Closet (well, not the deep depths, cos that would be gross, so shall we say the shallows, but then that also implies liquid, so maybe the "confines" of the Closet works best...) ready for battle! (And yes he had washed his hands.)
"Grargh!" Clive roared. "Krulnor, your fly's open and you spilt ketchup on your collar!"
"Wha - no I haven't!" Krulnor replied. But of course, that was the tactic of the Very Annoying Hedgehog (to be, in fact, very annoying - surprising I know) and in the time it had taken Krulnor to check the zipper on his leggings and the collar of his tunic Clive had rolled into a ball and was moving very quickly in Krulnor's direction.
Spikes! "Ouch!" Krulnor cried, as Clive's cuspidate covering caused Krulnor much concern. For the spikes were quite spiky! And Krulnor's hero's skin was in fact soft and well moisturised (one has to look one's best for paintings and sculptures made in one's honour, you know) which meant that the spikes caused some rather nasty punctures.
Sword! "Haha!" Our hero shouted, as he swung his blade heroically in self defense. Sadly it wasn't anywhere near Clive and all that happened was Mrs Taylor's roses received an early spring pruning.
"Your spikes don't concern me Hog!" Krulnor taunted, as he swung his blade again. This too missed Clive by several metres and instead nicked Krulnor's belt, causing it to fly apart and his very comfortable and warm Nelksunian leather leggings ($29.99 at Gnesh's City, which apparently has it all, though some are in fact sceptical of this claim) to drop to the ground, at which point Krulnor stepped forward and fell over his pants. "Aaargh!" Krulnor cried in pain as Clive rolled right over the top of him, applying spiky pressure to Krulnor's back, although as well as hurting it conveniently took out several knots in his shoulder muscles by stimulating blood flow and targeting the source of the pain with accurate localised pressure. Accupuncturetastic!
Stripped now to his warm woolen Nelksunian loincloth and leaking blood faster than an extra in a Tarantino film, Krulnor charged once more, this time towards Clive. Oops! He tripped again on a patch of ground and as he fell his sword flew forward from his grasp and lodged itself, well, in Clive.

Krulnor 1 - Hedgehogs 0.

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