The Sinister Sidekick's Serendipitous Slaughter
Quickly I wrapped my right hand around Melvin's neck, and began to attempt to choke him to death, whilst also trying hard to breathe in air through my own partially compressed windpipe.
It didn't take us both long to realise the unfortunate fact, encountered by one-armed assassins everywhere, that it is really hard to strangle someone one-handed! We appeared to be caught in a magical Mexican standoff, minus the Mexicans.
But... plus one medieval sword-wielding hero! At this point Krulnor decided to make himself helpful. "Omric! Let go of Melvin's neck!" He cried, swinging his sword in a fierce arc. I promptly chose to obey his instruction, and let go of Melvin's neck a split second before Krulnor's blade sliced neatly through it, removing Melvin's head from my body. Conveniently, instead of bleeding profusely and requiring immediate medical attention, the site on my neck which had until recently supported Melvin's cranium simply disappeared with a magical "pop!", the skin beneath it appearing smooth and unharmed.
Melvin's head also appeared to be still in the grip of the spell, as from his new site on the dusty roadside, Melvin began to abuse us. "You idiot, Krulnor! Now I'll never get my body back! I could have made you rich and powerful beyond your wildest dreams, you fool!" Krulnor quickly disposed of this new problem in a manner similar to Israel Dagg disposing of a deep-ranging kick from a South African first five-eights... that is, he kicked it as far away from himself as he could, and scored the team 3 points. Bonus!
"Thanks Krulnor! Looks like you saved the day again!"
"That's ok, Omric." Krulnor replied. "However, I was wondering... seeing as I did just save your life and all... do you think you could increase my wages a bit? You see, I didn't do too well financially on my last mission, aside from picking up a fascinating autobiography, and things are a bit tight back at hero headquarters!"
"Uh, I guess..." I replied, having not yet even considered the fact of remuneration in my plans, being relatively broke myself. "What did you have in mind?"
"Perhaps that final spell you're about to complete - you could pay me half of the potion? That seems fair doesn't it?"
"Actually, that does seem quite reasonable!" I enthused, "For a hairy, uneducated thug, you're actually quite smart!"
"Hey!" Krulnor replied, "I'm not that hairy!"
I chose not to reply, and instead began to assemble the potion. Fortuitously we happened to be situated on a road in the middle of a basil orchard, so the final ingredient was easily located.
Mixing and assembly took a very short 6 hours.
"Right!" I cried, rubbing my hands together enthusiastically. "Let's get this potion made!"
And I began the chant.
The Magical Past : : The Enchanted Future
It didn't take us both long to realise the unfortunate fact, encountered by one-armed assassins everywhere, that it is really hard to strangle someone one-handed! We appeared to be caught in a magical Mexican standoff, minus the Mexicans.
But... plus one medieval sword-wielding hero! At this point Krulnor decided to make himself helpful. "Omric! Let go of Melvin's neck!" He cried, swinging his sword in a fierce arc. I promptly chose to obey his instruction, and let go of Melvin's neck a split second before Krulnor's blade sliced neatly through it, removing Melvin's head from my body. Conveniently, instead of bleeding profusely and requiring immediate medical attention, the site on my neck which had until recently supported Melvin's cranium simply disappeared with a magical "pop!", the skin beneath it appearing smooth and unharmed.
Melvin's head also appeared to be still in the grip of the spell, as from his new site on the dusty roadside, Melvin began to abuse us. "You idiot, Krulnor! Now I'll never get my body back! I could have made you rich and powerful beyond your wildest dreams, you fool!" Krulnor quickly disposed of this new problem in a manner similar to Israel Dagg disposing of a deep-ranging kick from a South African first five-eights... that is, he kicked it as far away from himself as he could, and scored the team 3 points. Bonus!
"Thanks Krulnor! Looks like you saved the day again!"
"That's ok, Omric." Krulnor replied. "However, I was wondering... seeing as I did just save your life and all... do you think you could increase my wages a bit? You see, I didn't do too well financially on my last mission, aside from picking up a fascinating autobiography, and things are a bit tight back at hero headquarters!"
"Uh, I guess..." I replied, having not yet even considered the fact of remuneration in my plans, being relatively broke myself. "What did you have in mind?"
"Perhaps that final spell you're about to complete - you could pay me half of the potion? That seems fair doesn't it?"
"Actually, that does seem quite reasonable!" I enthused, "For a hairy, uneducated thug, you're actually quite smart!"
"Hey!" Krulnor replied, "I'm not that hairy!"
I chose not to reply, and instead began to assemble the potion. Fortuitously we happened to be situated on a road in the middle of a basil orchard, so the final ingredient was easily located.
Mixing and assembly took a very short 6 hours.
"Right!" I cried, rubbing my hands together enthusiastically. "Let's get this potion made!"
And I began the chant.
The Magical Past : : The Enchanted Future
posted by Musings | 6:38 PM
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