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The World-Famous (to some people) online-novels of Lark and Musings, for you to sit back and enjoy in the quietness of your own home. Warning, all novels may contain traces of nuts, and insanity in large doses. (Reading hint: For more enjoyment and less wanting-to-die-from-how-stupid-it-all-is, L&M Blognovels are suggested read in smaller doses, rather than in one sitting).

Friday, October 18, 2013

Timmantha the Troll's Terrifying Tomato Sauce Stain

Quickly leaping to my feet, I began spinning my right arm in a clockwise direction, whilst hopping on one foot, spinning in a circle, and reciting the lyrics to "As Long as You Love Me" by Justin Bieber in Israeli, all of which were vital to the spell - well, except for the lyrics, I just love the way that song sounds in Israeli. At the same time, I reached into my cloak and found the three ingredients I needed for the potion: Egg of Hen, Pinch of Salt, and Crack of Pepper, along with a small mixing bowl. Mixing the ingredients wasn't easy, considering my right arm was still circulating through the air, but you don't become an almost fully trained self-taught wizard without learning a thing or two. I finished mixing the ingredients, and yelled the incantation at the top of my lungs:
"Scramble!"

POOF!
Instantly, the troll standing before me gasped, and stared down at the sorry excuse for clothing he/she/it was wearing in amazement.
"GeEUuuuuRRGH?!" he/she/it bellowed curiously.
The second troll wandered over to the first, and also stared in amazement.
"HHeeeURGGGhHH?!" it/he/she asked the first troll.
"YYYeeeUuuuRRgH!" the first troll confirmed.
"DdddEeeEEurGh!" the second troll exclaimed.
Practically in sync the two trolls turned their massive heads to face me, although it could have also been more Backstreet Boys I guess, and one of them asked me the question on everybody's lips:
"JJEeEEEEUuuuUuRRghH?!"
Realising my potion had worked, I stopped spinning, put a confident expression on my face, tried to mask my dizziness, and replied "Yes, I AM a wizard."
The troll's eyes widened, and it/he/she turned back to the other, both of them taking a moment to talk together in hushed tones. Well, hushed by troll standards. I still had to put my fingers in my ears and desperately hoped I would be able to find enough ingredients to perform 'Heals the Shattered Ear Drum' before too long.
Eventually, the two trolls nodded to one another, grunted, and turned back to me.
Through the ringing in my still sore ears, I heard the lead troll politely inform me "WWeEEeeeEuUUurgh!"
"Don't mention it," I smiled, "It happens all the time."
The troll nodded, and both of them stepped to the side of the path to allow me to pass.
Suddenly, I remembered something.
"Oh! I almost forgot. I'm fresh out of Eye of Troll. Could I possibly have one of yours?"
The two trolls glared down at me, and in a threatening tone, one of them muttered "QQqueeeuUUuUuRRGH!"

Previous Incantation **** Following Incantation

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